Saturday, October 01, 2005

Gimpy Girl Gets Some Sneakers

So, after suffering for nearly a week with my painful and gimpy foot, I finally gave in and went to the foot doctor. He took some x-rays and told me that I might have a hairline fracture that's too small to detect on film, thus causing my unnattractive limp.

I've been instructed to keep off of the foot all weekend and to stop wearing my beloved $2 plastic Chinese flip flops (bugger!)--and to get some sneakers.

The reason I've avoided sneakers for so long is that I find them ugly and devoid of character. So yesterday I finally gave in and I got some sneakers. And they're just as ugly and utterly devoid of character as I thought they would be.

When I arrived at the sneaker store on Third Avenue, I immediatley spotted a bright red and funny pair of New Balance, and my spirits lifted for a moment. My red sneakers would be adorable and irreverent! I could plan adorable little jeans outfits around the adorable and irrverent red sneakers. When walking in Central Park, women would stop me to tell me how much they loved the adorable yet irreverent quality of my red sneakers.

It didn't happen that way.

Javon is the ultimate sneaker guru at the sneaker store on Third Ave., and he took one look at my sad, bandaged foot and removed the red sneaker from my hands while informing me that it was all wrong for me. He then outfitted me with a more sensible pair of sneakers with a high arch that would "give me the suppport I need."

There's nothing remotely cute or "me" about these sneakers. They are white and purple and utterly devoid of character. Mabye I'm wrong here, but who wears light purple nowadays? And who can coordinate a fun and casual outfit around a white and purple standard-issue running shoe? Or a better question is, who would want to coordinate an outfit around a white and purple standard issue running shoe?

So I thanked Javon and took my new sneakers out for a walk. And both my gimpy foot and my good foot are actually rebelling to the well-cushioned sneaker. Perhaps they have grown so used to the $2 plastic Chinese flip flops that they can never go back to wearing regular shoes. Perhaps gimpy foot and good foot are outraged that I've given them such a heinous outfit. Whatever, the reason, I'm in more pain today than I was yesterday, except that now both of my feet hurt.

spiceboy is still out of town on spice business, and although he is concerned about the state of my foot, I get the feeling that he's hoping the doctor will give me a cane. Probably because he keeps saying things like, "Maybe the doctor will give you a cane! Wouldn't that be cool?"

I guess as long as the cane matches my sneakers, it would be okay.


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