Upon Discovering the Vast Collection of Shoes I Keep Under my Office Desk

I pull open the bottom desk drawer, revealing a jumble of flats and summer sandals. spiceboy’s jaw drops.

Next, I roll away the chair, revealing the piece de resistance: The pumps. They are arranged beneath the desk in a perfectly straight line, their bright colors offset by the industrial gray office carpeting.

“Oh my god,” spiceboy breathes, taking in the sight. He points to a pair of teal suede pumps, then a pair of black heels, then the red peep-toes.

“I’ve never even seen those before. Or those. In fact, I’ve never seen most of these before. It’s like you have this whole other life I don’t even know about.”

I can’t tell if he’s impressed or horrified.