I Hate You, Barnes and Noble

Dear Barnes and Noble:

You suck.

I preordered my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in FEBRUARY. The book came out last SATURDAY, and I’ve yet to receive it from you.

Do you have any idea how much pain and suffering you’ve caused me?

In a perfect world, I would have finished the book by now. But nooooo. I had to wait. And wait. And wait.

I’ve had to sit grudgingly on the downtown 6 train, wedged between other riders, young and old, male and female, all of whom are reading Harry Potter, and who poke me with their elbows each time they breathlessly turn another page.

I’ve had to weave my way through the crowds in midtown, where everyone seems to have a copy of HP tucked under their tanned arms.

In order to prevent any accidental HP spoilers, I’ve had to go on a complete lockdown. I have not watched TV, read any reviews, or read any blogs that even MENTION good old Harry and his latest antics.

And it’s all your fault, Barnes and Noble. You with your smarmy customer service reps and empty promises of “same day delivery.”

Despite the fact that I am inextricably linked to your evil corporate ickyness (ickiness?) as an unfortunate result of working in the publishing industry, which goes out of its way to kiss your fat, warty ass on a daily basis, I refuse to support your business in my personal life. I am canceling my B&N rewards card. I will shun book events at your stores. I will never darken your doorstep again.

You are dead to me, Barnes and Noble.

Miserably,

East Side Girl