This Is What A Relationship Looks Like From The Inside

Me (in bed, sneezing, coughing, and blowing my nose): I wish I could breathe through my nose.

spiceboy: You should try this thing I saw on Oprah. It will help you breathe.

Me: You watch Oprah? Really?

spiceboy (casually ignoring Oprah comment): This guy had this amazing machine that cleans out your nose. It was like a nose enema. We can give you a nose enema!

Me: Great, but we don't have the machine, so we can't do it.

spiceboy (eyes lighting up with excitement): We could use a teapot!

Me (reaching for another tissue): You want me to stick our teapot up my nose?

spiceboy: Sure!