This Is What A Relationship Looks Like From The Inside

The scene: Our bedroom, early morning. I'm getting ready for work. spiceboy is sleeping soundly.

"spiceboy, spiceboy, wake up!"

spiceboy struggles to sit up. His hair is standing up from his head in spikes, and he's making the adorable squinty-mole face that always disappears as soon as he puts on his glasses.

"What?" he asks in his scratchy-sleep voice.

"Does this outfit look cute, or is it too much like pajamas?"

He props himself on his elbows and shakes his head, as if to clear it. "That's what you needed to ask me? I'm sleeping!"

"But I need your help," I say, gesturing to my outfit--flowy cropped black pants and a black and white striped tee. "Does it look like pajamas?"

spiceboy does not reach for his glasses to give me an assessment. Instead, he falls back onto the bed, burying his head under the covers. When he finally speaks, his voice is muffled by the duvet. "NO. It doesn't look like pajamas."

"But you didn't even look," I say.

spiceboy pokes his head out from under the covers and throws me a look that suggests he's certain this kind of bullshit is not what he signed on for when we took our wedding vows.

Point taken.