Proof That I Am A Slob

Spiceboy and I are standing on the subway platform, waiting for the 6 train. I am wearing a red scarf with gold stripes that I haven't used for several months.

As I fiddle with the scarf, I notice a series of very small, very strange brown pods attached to it. I try to brush them off, but they cling to the fabric.

“Ew!” I say. “Look at these weird things on my scarf.”

Spiceboy looks. “Maybe it’s some kind of insect egg.”

We both peer at the tiny pods and I try to brush them off again, but they cling to the fabric. I flick at them, and finally one comes loose.

I hold it on my fingertip and examine it, fearful at first that it's going to burst open and reveal some kind of strange little bug. Then I realize what the brown pod really is, and I start to laugh.

“What is it?” Spiceboy asks.

“The last time I wore this scarf, I ate a Tasti D-Lite.”

Spiceboy looks at me like I’m crazy.

“A Tasti D-Lite with chocolate sprinkles,” I clarify.

“Oh my god, you’re so gross,” says Spiceboy.

I laugh again. “You love me. Don’t even try to deny it.”