Sunday, November 13, 2005

Leek Body Cleanse: Day One (with slight modifications)

I have completed Day One of the Leek Soup Body Cleanse.

As you probably supsected, I have deviated slightly from the plan, which is quite simple: Eat only leeks and broth.

I've come to the conclusion that if you are a nun or a monk or otherwise confined to your home w/ no access to any kind of sustenance save for leeks and water, you will be able to adhere to the rules of The Cleanse with no problems.

However, if you are trying to go about your business as usual, it is impossible to adhere to this regimen.

Here is my timeline from yesterday:

8:45 am One nonfat cafe au lait and one small bottle Fiji water

11:02 am Leeks and leek broth, and a glass of water. The freshly cooked leeks were quite tasty, but the broth was rather bland.

12:15 pm More leek broth and another glass of water

2:35 pm Met a friend for brunch and a movie. Before leaving the apartment, I promised myself I wouldn't eat. But I caved at the last minute and had unsweetened yogurt with fruit and chamomile tea and three glasses of water.
There's a lesson here: When you're on a leek soup body cleanse, don't agree to go out to brunch with a friend.

3:00-5:15 pm Went to see Jarhead, so I was out of reach of food.

5:20 pm My friend really wanted to go see Derailed--kind of like a double feature Saturday. I was kind of ready to go home, but agreed to see the movie in order to avoid thinking about food. Then we decided to grab a bite to eat between flicks. Can you say counterproductive? Story of my life.

5:45 pm Arugula with artichokes drizzled with olive oil. More chamomile tea, and water (perhaps next time I should take the leeks out with me so I'm prepared at mealtime)

7:00-10:00 pm
Watched Derailed. Unless you are avoiding food, I suggest that you don't see this movie. It's not very good.

10:30 pm More leeks, which became very mushy and scary and not as tasty as when I first cooked them. They were stringy and even though I washed them thoroughly before cooking,I swear I was chewing on sand. I drank two more glasses of water to flush the sand out of my teeth. My stomach growled and I tried to ignore it.

10:45 pm Desperately hungry, I grabbed the phone, ready to dial out for a big, gooey, cheesy, pizza. Instead, I look a deep breath and tried to calm down. In the end, I ended up eating 2 Medjool dates and 2 Carr's water crackers while watching the Food Network. It's not perfect, but it's better than pizza.

11:30 pm I crawled into bed, hungry and crabby and wishing for a burrito. I hadn't adhered to the cleanse 100%, but I really didn't eat like a normal person, either. Was it possible that leek cleanse would still be effective under these circumstances? I thought I felt different--lighter somehow. That's probably not uncommon when you don't eat, but took it as a sign. I drank a glass of water and fell asleep.

1:30 am
When I got up to pee, I found myself drawn to the Swiss chocolate bar I bought earlier in the week. I stared at it for a long time. Then, telling myself you can't be held accountable for what you do when you're half asleep, I ate exactly one square.

Maybe it's just food deprivation addling my brain, but I've decided to stick with The Cleanse, for better or worse, until dinnertime today. After all, I've come this far, haven't I? I even forced down more of the evil leeks (and sand) for breakfast this morning. It's not that bad, really.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm now going to go look through my takeout menus and cry.


Blogger 000 said...

Just dropped by for a sec. Wanted you to know that I changed the name of my blog (from lanaclancy...) to jaibesoindunhomme... Long story.

Anyways, hope you'll drop by soon!

2:46 PM  
Blogger drea said...

Leeks? really? You boil them and drink the water? is no one else out there curious about this?

4:16 PM  
Blogger 000 said...

Yeah. I am wondering if I could accomplish the same thing by eating boiled (or steamed) celery. Crazier things have been done though. Aren't you a tad worried that when it comes time to eat, say, a pizza that your stomach is going to be confused?!

Good Luck, ESG!

10:38 PM  
Anonymous mhibiscus said...

OMG ESG, you are a much stronger person than I am! I would have been gorging on cheese and washing it down with a bottle of red wine by 2 in the afternoon! What did you break the fast with? Something yummy I hope!!!

11:49 AM  

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