Monday, November 14, 2005

Leek Soup Body Cleanse: The Aftermath

You know how sometimes you’ll have a really hectic day at work and you hardly get to eat, then as soon as you walk through the door you’re so hungry that you shove a billion crappy things into your mouth at once?

Well, that’s what happened when I broke my fast after the Leek Soup Body Cleanse. It all started off quite innocently at 3pm or so, when I bought some cucumber sushi rolls with brown rice. I figured that was a nice, zen-like healthy way to ease back into food. But from there, it escalated into a full-blown binge:

3:15 pm cucumber sushi rolls with brown rice

3:24 pm partially stale hunk of gruyere cheese that I found in the fridge

3:30 pm 2 pieces of ciabatta bread smeared with marscapone cheese and sprinkled with cocoa powder

4:00 pm Burmese fish soup (mohinga) that I found in a takeout container in the fridge

4:30 pm more bread with marscapone and cocoa

Brief hiatus caused from stomach upset. But the hunger is like fire—it just keeps spreading. The more I eat, the hungrier I get.

5:15 pm several squares of swiss chocolate with hazelnuts

7:30 pm my dear friend ABS arrives to hang out and order some takeout. By the time he arrives I am so hungry I could eat my coffee table. He takes so long choosing what to order that I say, “If you don’t hurry up and figure this out soon, I’m going to chew my fucking arm off,” which makes him laugh hysterically.

8:00 pm the food arrives—Chinese take out. I ordered the steamed tofu and broccoli w/ brown rice and a small hot and sour soup. I wolf down the soup but am disinterested in my tofu and broccoli—instead, I have begun to lust after ABS’s spicy peanut noodles.

8:30 pm ABS is only picking at his noodles and I struggle with myself not to ask if I can have some. Instead, I begin eating the complimentary crispy noodles that came with our meals.

9:30 pm ABS leaves and I realize he has left behind his unfinished noodles.

9:35 pm after debating whether or not to call ABS and tell him he forgot his noodles, I decide screw it, and I eat the noodles.

10:00 pm I eat two fortune cookies before brushin my teeth and going to bed.

So, in 7 short hours, I undid all of my hard work. Brilliant.

Today, my stomach is a little upset. But at least I’m not ravenously hungry. I do have to poop, which is good news. The bad news is that because I have office pooping paranoia, I will have to wait until I get home to do my business, and by then I may have lost my window entirely.

Biggest Lesson Learned From Leek Soup Body Cleanse: I am not the type of girl who should do a Leek Soup Body Cleanse.

1 Comments:

Blogger one girl said...

Hahaha, so hillarious... Had some friends try that leek thing too. I think they had better luck though. Glad you found your sweater too!

12:03 AM  

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