Donut Dilemma
This morning, my boss called all of the editors in my department into her office and offered us donuts. I came to work today armed with Greek yogurt and grapes specifically to protect myself against such temptations, but when your boss offers you a donut, what do you do?
You TAKE THE DONUT, right?
Right.
So I took a damn donut and I nibbled it politely while making small talk with my coworkers. Actually, I’m lying. I attempted to nibble it politely, but what I actually did was drop a huge hunk of it onto the floor, causing crumbs and powdered sugar to fly everywhere. Then I spilled coffee on my leg. Whatever. I’m clumsy.
My plan was to take the donut back to my office, dispose of it without offending my boss, and return to my lovely and healthful breakfast of grapes and yogurt. And that’s exactly what I did. Except now that I’ve tasted the sugary perfection of the donut, my grapes and yogurt seem lackluster by comparison. And even though I tossed the donut into my trash can, I can still smell it.
It smells good.
It smells so good that even though I’m sitting at my desk, looking for all the world like a responsible employee doing her responsible job, I'm seriously contemplating reaching into my trash can and pulling the donut back out and nibbling on it some more. I mean, there’s a brand new trash bag in there and I haven’t thrown anything away except some papers. And paper is clean, right?
Oh, god, I’m so gross.
Happy Friday!
You TAKE THE DONUT, right?
Right.
So I took a damn donut and I nibbled it politely while making small talk with my coworkers. Actually, I’m lying. I attempted to nibble it politely, but what I actually did was drop a huge hunk of it onto the floor, causing crumbs and powdered sugar to fly everywhere. Then I spilled coffee on my leg. Whatever. I’m clumsy.
My plan was to take the donut back to my office, dispose of it without offending my boss, and return to my lovely and healthful breakfast of grapes and yogurt. And that’s exactly what I did. Except now that I’ve tasted the sugary perfection of the donut, my grapes and yogurt seem lackluster by comparison. And even though I tossed the donut into my trash can, I can still smell it.
It smells good.
It smells so good that even though I’m sitting at my desk, looking for all the world like a responsible employee doing her responsible job, I'm seriously contemplating reaching into my trash can and pulling the donut back out and nibbling on it some more. I mean, there’s a brand new trash bag in there and I haven’t thrown anything away except some papers. And paper is clean, right?
Oh, god, I’m so gross.
Happy Friday!
posted by east side girl at 10:05 AM
8 Comments:
no cuz paper attracts roaches.............
I've eaten stuff out of the trash. (hangs head in shame)
...We just love food. Um. YES.
Sounds like something I'd do/write. :)
Oh..um...er....
Could you perhaps get something else?
if it's near the top of the can, resting gently atop clean paper, you almost have to eat it. quick pour some pencil sharpener shavings on it so you aren't even tempted anymore!
I totally would have pulled it out- after making sure no one was looking of course!
I have taken things out of the trash before and eaten them. It's really not the worst you could do in the grand scheme of things. Embezzlement, embarrassing. Deliberately hurting someone, gross. Trash donut? Full of donuty goodness.
I also spill things on myself all the time.
But you should splurge and take yourself out for a good, fresh donut and coffee. It's Friday, afterall.
Hahaha.
Yeah I echo the make-sure-no-one-is-looking sentiment.
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