Saturday, January 07, 2006

Wedding Worry #27: Am I a Slacker Bride?

In 147 days, spiceboy and I will take those first tentative steps down the road of UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.

Both the ceremony and the reception will take place here. The ceremony will be in the garden, which looks like this:

Pretty, isn't it?

That's really the only thing I have figured out, save for the caterer.

Which brings me to this: It's fewer than 5 MONTHS until the wedding, and I hardly have anything done.


Everywhere I go, I seem to run into these UBER BRIDES who grill me about the wedding. How's the wedding planning coming? What are your COLORS? Have you chosen FLOWERS? How many BRIDESMAIDS do you have?

Colors? Flowers? Bridesmaids? NO, NO, and NO.

The truth is, whenever I try to do WEDDING STUFF, I'm seized by the sudden inability to make a decision about anything at all. Like finalizing the guest list. Or settling on wording for the invitations. Or picking china and linens for the tables.

Oh, wait. Maybe I'm seized by indecision about these things because they are so MIND NUMBINGLY BORING.

I want to know who the SIMPLE MINDED TWIT is who spread the rumor to women all over the United States that wedding planning is FUN.

Really, is CHOOSING FLOWERS for table arrangements really anyone's idea of a good time?

Is learning that there are 8 BAZILLION different types of wedding gowns and that ALL of them MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A DERANGED, FLUFFY CUPCAKE really a fun way to spend your weekend, especially after a grueling week at work?

Is debating the merits of BUTTERCREAM ICING vs. WHIPPED CREAM ICING the type of in-depth conversation an engaged couple should really be having as they prepare to spend the rest of their lives together?


And to me, that's really THE MOST ANNOYING thing about wedding planning. All of the fuss and hullabaloo and dresses and flowers and music and place settings and blah blah blah do absolutely nothing but DISTRACT you from SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT:

The marriage itself.

If you stop and think about it, GETTING MARRIED is one of the biggest changes your relationship will go through, aside from HAVING BABIES. No matter if you've been together for 5 months or 5 years, once you get engaged, there's suddenly a lot more at stake.

There's SICKNESS and there's HEALTH. There's RICH and POOR. There are career decisions and family obligations. Your decisions don't affect only you anymore, so you have to weigh what you do much more carefully.

I've been spending a lot of time torturing myself over the fact that I'm not a GOOD BRIDE because I can't seem to get my act together with this wedding planning stuff. And I started this post today as a way to make fun of my SLACKER BRIDE TENDENCIES.

But you know what I just realized? I don't want to waste my energy on being a GOOD BRIDE, at least not in the flowers/dress/table settings sense.

In the long run, that doesn't really matter.

What matters is that I have fallen in love with this amazing person--a person who GETS ME. A person who LAUGHS WITH ME. A person who, ultimately, MAKES ME WANT TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF. And I know I do the same for him.

And that's why JUNE 3, 2006 is really so important. Because on that day, we're both pledging to WORK TOGETHER to be the best versions of ourselves--ALWAYS.

So I think I just figured out that I'd rather not waste my energy on being a GOOD BRIDE. I'd much rather concentrate on being a GOOD WIFE instead.


Anonymous mhibiscus said...

When my oldest sister tied the knot she wanted it to be the wedding that everyone would remember, that everyone would be talking about for years. Six bridesmaids, 300 guests, ice sculptures, 2 receptions prior to dinner, a photographer set up after dinner to take portraits of her with guests, and so on and so on. The truth is, none of that was just all really expensive. And by the end of the night she looked tired and weathered, like she hadn't enjoyed the day at all. Not really the way I would want to start my life with my new husband. It doesn't matter what you say, what you are serving for dinner, the kind of cake you are cutting, etc etc. What matters is that the person standing in front of you when you profess your love, when you promise to stand beside them whatever the situation and circumstance, is the person that can't imagine ever being without. (...mhibiscus steps off soap box....)

2:30 PM  
Blogger tina said...

Amen, girl. Keep it simple. It isn't "the day" that matters as much as it is all the days after that.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're wedding will be great. You shouldn't stress about it- it's suppose to be fun! I agree with mhibiscus completely. You do have a dress though, right?

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

opps, "you're" = "your"

6:10 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

What mhibiscus said. Nothing is more important than having a happy life, and it seems as though you already have that. Everything else is icing on the cake.

Buttercream icing, that is. Whipped cream gets too runny and melty.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Style Girl said...

I know exactly what you are going through. I had WW IV with my Mutha this weekend b/c of our guest list. Luckily my future mother-in-law is taking care of the flowers, but everything else is up to me and my Mutha.
I really don't care about minor details, but I'm told that I should care b/c it's my "special day". What some people are failing to realize is that it is MY wedding and MY fiance's. Not my Mutha's, Not my GrandMutha's, but soemhow it's turning into their wedding. I just want to get married, wear my pretty dress and head off to Cabo San Lucas after to relax! Stand your ground! Planning isn't fun, no matter what anyone says! I personally think planning is the worst thing about it, I'd rather be like the gromm and just "show up".

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bottom line......keep it all's the sex that matters. make it a hot and wet night that neither of you will forget

2:42 PM  
Blogger yaya said...

Yaaaaah! I so agree! I ran away (Melb Australia to Las Vegas) because I could not put up with all the wedding shit! I had a nice dress, nice flowers, nice ring but I also had an amazing man wanting to exchange vows that said we would be together for as long as we could stand each other! hee! And I don't regret a thing.....

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

those girls who grill you about your wedding are definately not uberBrides. They sound more like Bridezillas to me.

8:06 AM  
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12:37 AM  

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