Thursday, May 18, 2006

Bra New World

Yesterday, I popped into the Gap in hopes of replacing my beloved black cardigan sweater.

Have you ever tried to find a black cardigan sweater in May?

It’s not so easy.

Anyway, I was on my way out of the Gap, feeling all dejected and sweater-less, when I spotted this adorable little pink demi cup bra. Now, I’m pretty much a traditionalist when it comes to my brassieres. It has to be comfortable, and it has to be padded (I’m totally flat-chested), so I usually go for the ever-popular and very padded Gap T-Shirt Bra.

Yes, I pad. And I’m damn proud of it, bitches.

Even though this new bra was only slightly padded, it had these cute little swirly designs on it little ribbons and whatnot, and I felt like I wanted to buy something, so why not, right?


I took the bra home and modeled it for myself in the mirror, not only with a selection of pink underwear, but also under numerous shirts, from tanks to tees to button downs, to make sure this new addition to my lingerie drawer provided proper support and smooth, clean lines under my clothing. I liked the looks of it—the straps were thin, and the cups even pushed up my barely-there boobs a little bit more than usual. Very nice!

It was only when I got to the office and caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror under the fluorescent lighting that I noticed something was…off.

Last night, in the muted light of my bathroom mirror, the bra gave the appearance of clean lines under my clothing. But today, in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the office, the problem is clear:

This bra gives me pointy boobs.

That’s right, it looks like there are tiny little mini torpedoes sticking out of the center of my chest. This may be due to the following: 1. The cups are too big (I am stuck between A and B cup purgatory, and I simply refuse to go A) or 2. The cups have a seam right down the center that causes them to sort of fold into a point.

Or maybe it's a little of both.

Regardless, I might as well be wearing those pointy little Dixie cups from the dispenser next to the water cooler over my boobs instead of a bra. They both have the same effect, anyway.

This is great. Just great.

Happy Thursday.


Blogger CageQueen said...

I can't stop reading your blog. I am addicted. Please, don't stop! Ha!

12:46 PM  
Blogger Katy said...

perhaps you are a trend-setter and the madonna look will come back?

1:03 PM  
Blogger Paperback Writer said...

Oh, dear!

What are you going to do?

1:58 PM  
Anonymous the frog said...

Hey! If you want a bra with NO lines or seams and, um, some lift and shape, try the new VS "Secret Embrace". They even make my A-nubs look like a respectable B, LOL!

2:08 PM  
Blogger A Novelist said...

OH NO! I hate when something looks one way at home and then when you go outside, it's totally different. Anyway, I second that VS "Secret Embrace" bras are good and NO SEAMS! :)

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha, padding all the way! You've got to try the Victoria's Secret's Very Sexy bra's- no pointing and good padding :)

7:54 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Eww I hate the ones that make you look pointy. Also have a pet hate of the fact that you can't find basic items of clothing because the shops are too full of the latest trends. What happened to the staple casuals?!

4:03 AM  
Blogger kate.d. said...

i have just graduated to lining from the thin layer of cotton that i used to get. i don't think i can ever do padding on personal principle, but to each her own! VS had an Angels bra that was *perfect* for me, and then they put lace all over it. argh!

and i second the novelist, no seams! though i'm sure you're like, "thanks for mentioning it now, bitches." :)

11:21 AM  
Blogger I Heart Mark said...

Hi there, pointy boobs or no pointy boobs, care to put them to good use? Fancy assisting in the greater good of humanity?

Hop on over to iheartmark and make the world a happier place, one person at a time!


1:08 PM  

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